Written by Vanessa Sporne – Country to Canberra Teen Blogger
It’s hard to believe it has been nearly six months since I left home, left my family, left everything that was familiar to me.
I remember filling in my university preference list in the middle of last year. When you’re tapping little keys on a computer, and watching little letters appear on a screen, it doesn’t seem real. It didn’t hit me that this list was going to determine which path I took when I came to the daunting fork in the road at the end of high school. All I thought was, ‘this one sounds good!’ and tapped away, watching the little letters on the screen spell out ‘Australian National University’. I felt like I’d achieved something, when in reality all I’d done was fill out an online form.
It wasn’t until that fateful day when results were released and I received my offer from the ANU that it all became real: Where am I going to live in Canberra? How will I afford to live? Can I cope with moving away from my family? Will I ever get to see my friends? Will I be able to make new friends? Will my cat forget me?! These questions plagued me. I couldn’t see how taking such a leap could benefit me in any way. Wouldn’t it be easier to just stay at home and stay comfortable?
The answer was yes; it would have been easier. I knew though that I was never going to experience all I wanted to if I simply couped myself up in my little town with my ten friends from high school. I knew that I wanted something more, and that terrified me.
The first day of Orientation Week suddenly arrived and I was thrown into this enormous building at Bruce Hall, filled with 349 other students, who I was supposed to live with for the next three years. It felt like I was told a thousand names that day and I could barely remember a single one. I was terrified every time I ventured out my door, but each time was easier than the last. I had become a master of small talk, but as I became closer and closer with the people around me I gradually let go of any regret and began to feel proud of myself, and my courage.
That week turned out to be one of the best of my life. I had been immersed in this incredible group of like-minded people who were kind, intelligent and interesting. I’d broadened my friend circle in a matter of days, from a handful in Jamberoo, to hundreds from around Australia and the world. I can’t any credit for this (trust me, I’m no socialite), I’m thankful to the incredible people of Bruce Hall, who made my transition so easy.
University though couldn’t be a 5-and-a-half long year party, one day I was actually going to have to attend a class, and that day came much too soon. My first law lecture was an absolute blur, everyone knew more than me and I felt like they were speaking a foreign language. All I could think was ‘what the hell is a plaintiff?!’ When I received my mark for my first assessment I was heartbroken with a 54%. Once again regret flooded back; I was obviously too dumb for law and too dumb for this university. I convinced myself that there was no way I could compete with these kids who had gone to the best high schools in the country. I should just go back to where I belong, and stop trying to be something I’m not.
My Dad convinced me to keep trying though. My determination returned and my marks began to rise. I felt confident in my intelligence once again and began to feel a passion for what I was studying.
Being away from my family and friends hasn’t been easy, but I now feel an incredible appreciation for every person in my life who has helped me along the way. Pictures of them cover the wall of my tiny room here in college so I can look up and see them every day. I know it’s hard for them too, but they understand that although I’m far away it’s where I’m meant to be. My friends are now off on their own adventures, travelling the world, living in new cities and studying new and exciting things, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still be there for eachother.
I would never take back my decision to move away. I look back and imagine all the amazing opportunities I would have missed out on if I had stayed in my comfort zone. I never would have met these incredible people that have taught me more about myself in four months than I have in years. My eyes are now open to world in front me and all the possibilities that I’m now free to pursue. Oh and, my cat didn’t forget me 🙂
NB. Please Help!
There is currently a plan to demolish my college (Bruce Hall) for redevelopment. The residents here have started a petition to our vice chancellor in order to make him consider other options which don’t involve the destruction of a heritage site.
Please could you show your support to help save my wonderful college by signing the online petition here.
It would mean a lot to me and the other people hare at Bruce Hall as none of us want to lose our home.
Thank you! xoxox