Not 100% sure where you’re going? Me neither. And that’s ok.

Han WorsleyBy Hannah Worsley, Country to Canberra teen blogger


Dear life,

I don’t know what to do with you. Yesterday, I traipsed around my high school, tracking down teachers to sign a slip of paper for me. It was my last time to do this as an actual student, because yesterday, I also officially signed out of school.

I’m not sure that this officially makes me a part of the ‘real’ world yet. For example, I dragged my mum around a Brisbane shopping complex certain I was taking her towards the car park. Instead we ended up at the opposite end. And when given the task of navigating, I’ve got a reputation for holding the map upside down. Surely, I tell myself, a ‘real’ adult would be able to orient herself?

Ironically, I spent my 18th birthday on a camp with a bunch of other friends, which involved a trek, and we got lost too. Despite being selected for this opportunity because of certain admirable and mature attributes, it seemed that none of us, despite our age, are ‘real’ adults.

Now this whole thing about being lost may seem like pointless rambling, but it’s a pretty good analogy for my current situation. Having worked hard through year 12, I’ve finished my HSC exams pleased with how I feel I’ve gone, yet when someone utters the simple questions of “what do you want to do?” I am lost. I don’t know. At 12 I wanted to be a jockey (I’m too tall), at 14 I wanted to be an archaeologist (what was 14 year old Hannah thinking?), at 15 I wanted to be a politician (no comment), and at 16 I decided on medicine. And I thought I had it all figured out. Until it came to my preferences for UAC, and teary discussions with my mother, which left me, just like in Brisbane and on trek, lost.

In one such discussion, my mum told me that high school is one of those places where you always know what’s coming next. Year 7 is followed by year 8, you have a pre-determined schedule of exams and assessments, and there are daily reminders and weekly assemblies to make sure you know exactly what is happening, all the time. A room change, a substitute teacher, or a fire drill can lead to an outbreak of chaos. And I think me signing out of school is the equivalent of a fire drill-you kind of know it’s coming, and you know it means you’re going to have to change your plans, but it doesn’t stop it being annoying and confusing. Except having to choose a career path isn’t a drill and the only alarm bells are the ones in my head screaming HANNAH WORSLEY THE MAP IS UPSIDE DOWN AGAIN AND YOU ARE LOST.

I’ve come to the conclusion that not everyone knows what they want to do, and maybe I’ll figure it out next week, maybe it will be next year, or maybe halfway through a university degree that I suddenly realise isn’t for me. Until then, I’ve got some more time to be lost.


Learn more about the wonderful author, Hannah, here.