Written by the fantastic Georgina Douglas from our blog team.
Dear me,
This is a letter to the girl I used to be. There are some things that you should know, it was not my intention to embarrass or to shame you. This is a letter to the girl who worried way too much about what others’ perceptions of her were, the girl who fell for all the wrong guys, the girl who hated being wrong.
I can not stress enough about how it important it is to find yourself before you find anyone else. To that girl who thinks she is in a hole that keeps getting deeper that she won’t find her way out of, trust me – I have been there. I have been to every level that you can think of and back again. You will find your way out of that hole and life will get better.
Nothing is going to make you any more happy than you make yourself. Not a man, not food, not shopping (even though it makes you feel good for a short time). I know that hitting rock bottom can feel like it will never end, like there is no way out. I know how it feels to have bad things hit you one after another.
I started Year 11 this year. Now after saying that, these past five years have been the hardest, most emotional, unbalancing years of my life. I think I know that my life will not stay that way. Yes, life has its ups and downs and yes life is a rollercoaster. Your high school years will be some of the most emotional years of your life. You will be tested with back-stabbing friends, immature and deceitful boyfriends, and a million different papers due at midnight. But I promise to you that once you see past the bad, you’ll see your lifelong true best friend right beside you. And when you least expect or want it, love will really find a way to surprise you at the most inconvenient, and crazy times. Even those annoying papers due at midnight will soon turn into late night sessions with those whom you cherish most. After the storm, there is always calm.
You will have many heart aches: some from the people you least expect to hurt you and some from the men you choose to date. Try and hold onto what is left of your childhood after you learn the truth about the people you are closest to in your family.
Don’t push away your parents. I know that it will feel as if they are suffocating you, but they just want the best for you and to protect you. The way they go about it will make you feel like they hate you, but they love you. You will count down the months and weeks and days until you can move out of home. You will start to assert your independence by getting your license, a bank account and a Medicare card, but slow down – there is no rush to grow up. The adult world isn’t as glamorous as it seems.
What I will stress now, to each and every one of you girls who are like I used to be: stop putting up with the crap from your boyfriend (he does not own you, you are a free woman, you can do whatever you want), tell those back-stabbing friends that they won’t get anywhere acting like that and good-bye, and start saying no for once!
Focus on you, focus on your future, your goals, your dreams and who you’re meant to be. I promise you that the deep hole that feels like it’s getting bigger, or that rock bottom you’ve hit, is going to change right before your eyes. As soon as you stop digging, you will notice: it will feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. And just like that a ladder will appear, I promise you every day will be one step higher, one step better, one step closer to the person you are meant to be.
The more steps you take, the better you will be. Do not think for one second that your journey is over because it isn’t. When one door closes, another door will open. The more steps on the ladder you take, the more your future will open to be. You will be able to see the woman you are meant to become, the woman you want to be. The woman you know you can be. The woman who will make a difference to the world that we live in.
Sincerely,
The girl you are in the future.