Post by one of our incredible bloggers, Louise Miolin.
For the past six months I have been studying abroad in England. I’m the youngest of my parents’ four children; the baby of the family in a big way. I guess it made sense that among teary hugs and shared excitement, the final piece of advice my dad gave me at the airport was two words: Be careful.
During my time in England I’ve travelled across the UK and parts of Europe alone and with others, and I plan to do a big, solo trip in the English summer this year. To begin with, although I understood the care and concern in my father’s warning, I dismissed his instruction to some extent. That isn’t to say I wanted to act dangerously or take unnecessary risks or do anything (too) stupid – I just mean that by the time I left the airport, I was frustrated with people telling me to “be careful”. It felt like a restrictive phrase warning me against adventure and trying new things, and how could I have a fulfilling time overseas if I didn’t do that? I also felt – and still feel – that it’s unfair that we live in a world where we must constantly remind people, young women in particular, that their very existence brings with it inherent danger.
When I gave it more thought, however, I realised that the advice to be careful is not unwarranted, although it shouldn’t limit the way we live our lives.
The backpacker Grace Millane’s tragic death in New Zealand last year shook me, and countless others across the world, to the core. What’s more, the plethora of messages in the media in the aftermath of her death made me so angry. It seemed like people were taking that age-old advice, “be careful”, and using it to blame an innocent woman for the horrific actions of her killer – as if she could have prevented her death had she been ‘more careful’. This obscene example of victim blaming speaks to a dilemma that many young femme travellers have; we feel like if anything happens to us, it’s our fault for daring to live outside of our comfort zone. But we shouldn’t have to sacrifice living the life we want to lead for the sake of our safety – we should be able to have both. As much as it is very much a privilege to be able to travel, we should have the right to feel safe when doing so.
It would be naïve of me to dismiss concerned “be careful”s. The world is a dangerous place and it should be treated as such, and precautions need to be taken, especially in foreign places. However, the world is also a beautiful place, and I like to think that people are, for the most part, fundamentally good. If I refused every conversation with a stranger in line for a club or didn’t ask the local barman for his restaurant recommendation or found Wifi to make my way home instead of asking for directions, I wouldn’t have had anywhere near as much of a fulfilling time overseas as I have had.
I guess what I am saying is, it’s important to strike a balance: If you can be cautious while remaining curious, and careful while being courageous, your travels will be all the better for it.
For a great blog about the repercussions of Grace Millane’s death, check out this post.
Image source.
