By Vesna, Country to Canberra teen blogger.
Urban dictionary #1: “What you attain after you fail to impress a woman you’re attracted to. Usually initiated by the woman saying, “You’re such a good friend.” Example: “I spent all that money on a date, just to find out she put me in the Friend Zone”
The “friend zone” is a reoccurring term, which is ostensibly gender-neutral, but in reality, is primarily used by men and teenage boys to describe a woman denying a man’s sexual advances. Regrettably, the example provided by Urban Dictionary is a widely held belief within our generation. It implies that a “nice guy” is owed sex or a romantic relationship from females that they’ve invested time in. Sadly, if the woman says no or wishes to be friends, we often become a part of the running joke, called a “bitch” or a “waste of money or time”. Of course, this isn’t always the case, but it’s a case I’ve seen one too many times.
A woman who says no is not respected by the “friend zone” attitude. It implies a number of questions: shouldn’t she feel lucky that a boy is interested in her? Why would she just want to be friends when she can have so much more? The nature of the term is used to demonize women for not taking interest or complying with the wants of a man, and this running joke is widespread. Just look at television series and films such as Just Friends or The Office. Often, represented within the media, it seems that if the man waits out the oh so torturous “friend zone” then the women who has caused him so much emotional conflict and pain will wake up one day and magically fall in love with him to live happily ever after. Here, friendship is portrayed as a significant failure, suggesting that the only meaningful and worthwhile relationship a man and a woman can share is sexual.
What should be communicated within all popular media today, is that friendship is worthwhile and no one is obliged to return interest with a relationship or sex. While rejection is not a fun ride, if you reject someone you are not a bad person and if someone rejects you, you have to respect their decision, especially if that person is your friend.
Thankfully, there are many women and men calling out the “friend zone” for what it is: a pathetic excuse used by many “nice guys” who aren’t nice at all.
Urban dictionary #10: A mythical place where misogynists go to when a woman doesn’t want them.